Dynamics Of Immature Psychosexual Intimacy

1.Immaturity in intimate relationships is rooted in deprivation and repression of basic needs.

•The immature person will say: ‘I need you, therefore, I love you!’
•The mature person will say: ‘I love you, therefore, I need you!’


2.In immature intimacy:The primary need is for reassurance.

In mature intimacy:The primary need is for affection.


3.The immature intimate is assuming:

‘Someone out there is going to take care of me, right all wrongs
and protect me from danger.’
Such an assumption masks his true feelings of helplessness, fear, anger and confusion and brings false hopes to a chaotic situation.

4.The immature intimate becomes genitally involved because he has never experienced intimacy with anyone, including parents and friends. Such a person can easily transfer a simple desire to be loved into a desire to be genitally intimate. This is the only way he knows how to get human contact.

5.If the physical closeness of genital sexuality is the only bridge to contact with others, it acquires abnormal importance.

6.In the immature person, there is sexualization of the basic needs for security, power and affection and confusion of anger and love. Sexual expression tends to be compulsive and indiscriminate.

7.For the immature, genital sex is a defense against close, personal involvement. Physical but impersonal sexual behaviour is used as a way or avoiding communication and vulnerability, which form the basis of mature intimacy.